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Finding Your Spirit

You probably don’t know what really makes you happy. 

You probably once knew what it was, and have been chasing after it for a long time now, or at least chasing after things that you think will make you feel that way again.

That is what it is that was actually making you happy, that feeling.

Being happy is a feeling. Things are not.

A car might give you the pleasure of driving it, the speed, the force, the way it makes you look.

Experiences are the same way—jumping out of a plane makes you feel excited, or nervous, or accomplished…these are still feelings.

I like having nice things, I like wearing nice cloths, I like eating nice food. They make me feel good, they create a harmony in my life. 

Can you think about the first time you were really happy? Maybe you remember playing with your first dog, or your first birthday, or your first kiss? How did that make you feel?

How about the last time? When was the last time your were truly happy for more than a fleeting moment? You get that donut and you stuff it in your mouth, and you are happy for a second. You get that promotion at work, with a raise, and you’re acknowledged, but now you have to do the work and now you are that person you dreamed of being. You start to work hard for the next promotion, for that moment it arrives and you will then be happy for a moment.

I've also had a lot of friends that were born into money, and they, and their children, and grandchildren are sure to never have to work a day in their life. They are the dreamers with nothing left to dream about, because they have it all. 

When was the last time you felt like you were living in happiness? Where you woke up excited for the sun to be coming up behind the hills, seeing out your bedroom window as if for the first time, and being truly content?

Or have you ever felt like this? Maybe not since you started living for an ideal other than your own. An ideal or dream that was someone else’s, because you wanted to make them, or the world, or your wife, or your parents love you more because you were living up to their expectations of what your life should look like and what you should be doing with it.

But for some reason it doesn’t feel right.

You feel depressed, like something is missing.

Your life--that is what’s missing.

You are out of alignment with the person you think you should actually be, living a life that’s not yours. You are just an actor playing out your parents’ or spouse’s idea of what it is they think you are supposed to be.

You’re a liar.

You’re lying to them and to yourself and still expecting things to go on in harmony.

It’s why it feel like your life has the vibration of nails screeching down a chalkboard.

So let me ask you this:

Who do you think you should really be doing in this life to make you truly happy?

How can you start being that person?

Can you still be that person while still pretending to be the person everyone else expects you to be?

Can you start taking steps toward being the person, and living the life, that will make you happy to be alive, to be happy, joyous, and free every time you wake up in the morning? 

You are the only one that is living your life.

You are the only one that is dying a little inside every moment that you are not living up to who you really think you are.

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